WordPress Daily Writing Prompt #2834 for July 26, 2026
I had a little party in my head when I read what today’s daily writing prompt was. “What’s your biggest dream?” I cycled through several ideas. World peace, winning the Powerball, a resounding Democratic victory at this year’s mid-terms, that every pet in every shelter finds a forever home, becoming a famous and relevant social media influencer, traveling to New Zealand, and so much more. But, reality pulls my head out of the clouds, the party is over, and it’s time to consider something far more real and deeply personal.
I grew up on a family farm in Bear Lake, Michigan. My parents adopted me before I was a year old. I have four older brothers. I don’t remember a time that I didn’t know I was adopted. My earliest recollections always included this fact. I didn’t know anything about my biological family. There were times that I really wanted to know, but for the most part, I went about my life not thinking about it. It’s not that I didn’t care about it, but rather that I was resigned to never knowing. It seemed to be a lost cause.
Our mom passed away in 2007, and our dad passed away in 2020. Difficult losses for our family. Unfortunately, there weren’t any records about my adoption in either of their private papers. I had hoped there might have been something that listed what agency handled my adoption, or legal documents (through family court) about my adoption.
In the Spring of 2021, one of my brothers gifted me with an Ancestry DNA kit. We had long conversations about finding out about my biological family. It took about 6-7 weeks for my results to be posted on Ancestry. It took me less than 2 months to work out who my biological mother was and to make contact with 2 half siblings, and multiple cousins. One of my first cousins was so kind and helpful. Her assistance was instrumental in the early days of my research. I’m so thankful for her. I had a “new” brother and sister! It turns out that they had always known I existed, but like me not knowing anything about who they were, they also knew nothing about who I was. We haven’t met in person yet, but thanks to social media, smart phones, and video chat, we have communicated often. They have totally accepted me, and I’m grateful for that.
Sadly, our birth mother passed away in 1999. It hurt me deeply that I would never meet her, nor hear her voice, nor hold her hand. How I wish these things could have happened. My birth sibs told me that she often spoke of me, and she was very sad about giving me up. She was a teenager when she had me, and her family pressured her into putting me up for adoption.
Since 2021, I have researched and developed and extensive maternal family tree. I have been able to trace it back to well before the Revolutionary War. It has been an interesting endeavor. I have records, photos, and stories. So many stories. Good stuff, bad stuff, multiple marriages, military service, law breakers, and normal, every day, hard working people just quietly trying to take care of their families. Some of my relatives tried to steal a train! When it came to thievery, they sure went big. It’s probably safe to assume that their parents and spouses wished that they would have focused their ambitions on something a bit more beneficial.
My biological father is an elusive man. My closest paternal DNA relative is a second cousin and there appears to be no direct connection between her family line and mine that would suggest my birth father is “one of her tribe.” I have only been able to create a paternal family tree as a working theory that begins with potential great grandparents. I have contacted many paternal DNA cousins in the course of my research. I have enlisted the aid of professional genealogists. I have also had additional DNA tests with other companies besides Ancestry. I work on this nearly ever day. I am no closer to finding my birth dad now in 2026, than I was at the outset of this journey in 2021. My worry about this is that my birth dad is likely in his 80’s and might be older. The remaining time I have to find him, if he is still alive, grows short. Plus, the possible dilemma that he may not even know I exist, swirls around in my head once in a while. I imagine finding him but that it would all be quite awkward and weird.
I was born on May 19, 1966 in Fremont, Michigan at Gerber Hospital. I was approximately 10 months old when I was adopted. My birth siblings told me that my given name was Amy Lynn Holtzlander. We’ve had a lot of fun talking about our growing up years, and sharing family stories. We actually grew up about 2 hours (driving time distance) from each other.
My birth mother was Wanda Lee Holtzlander. She was born in Grand Rapids, Michigan on January 23, 1948. She died in White Cloud, Michigan on January 14, 1999. She married several times after she had me, and had three more children, one of whom died as a baby. She had so much sadness in her life.
Because nothing is verified on my paternal side, and the closest matches are no closer than possible second cousins, I won’t share my “working theory” paternal tree. What I will share are some common family names that recur often among my paternal matches. Wilkerson, Wilkinson, Gainey, Busby, Landgon, Menasco, Manasco, and Barnett. Ancestry also traces my DNA matches to regions and journeys. I will share my paternal “journeys” — areas where early settlers lived.
I dream of finding my birth father, and still have hope that someday I will know who he is.
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Copyright © 2009-2026 Maria Appleby for Maria’s Musings: Tales My Heart Tells. All Rights Reserved.
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Maria – what a compelling and deeply human journey. Balancing the poignant weight of searching for your origins with the sheer detective work of genetic genealogy takes a remarkable amount of emotional resilience and analytical discipline. Finding your maternal half-siblings and uncovering that rich ancestral history, train-robbing forebears included, is a massive triumph, even alongside the heartbreak of learning your birth mother had already passed.
Your methodical approach to the paternal side is impressive. When standard DNA matches cap out at second cousins, the logic shifts from simple tracing to complex puzzle-solving through visualised migration corridors and surname clusters. The ticking clock undeniably adds pressure, but the groundwork you’ve laid with your working theories is sound.
A few analytical and reflective thoughts come to mind as you continue this search:
Methodology: Have you tried applying the Leeds Method to group your paternal matches, or using chromosome mapping alongside your second-cousin matches to isolate specific shared ancestral couples?
Geographic Narrowing: Given the distinct migration path through Mississippi, Alabama, and East Texas, have you looked into local historical societies or land records in those specific cluster areas for men who might’ve lived or travelled through Michigan in the mid-1960s?
Identity and Connection: Beyond the practical search, how has this process reshaped your internal definition of “tribe”, balancing the family who raised you on the farm with these biological threads you’re unravelling?
The logic of genetics usually catches up with persistence in the end. Wishing you that long-awaited breakthrough moment soon.
Best wishes,
Bob
Hi Bob! I’m sorry my reply is a few days late. The professional genealogist that helped me used the Leeds Method, and also showed me how to do it myself. Unfortunately, record searches for me are online only at this point. I don’t rely on Ancestry (or other DNA sites) records alone. I have found several websites for regional records—–newspapers, Church records, marriage records. I know how to access county property rolls—–but those deal with current ownership—–so I would have to say no about land records. I am going to check for historical societies that post records online. I’m currently in the middle of doing “cluster” connections on my paternal line. I’ve also been working with “DNA Painter” which estimates probabilities—–you created a tree with known information starting with the furthest person out and then work in all their descendants and spouses….and trace all the way through to yourself, or as close to yourself as you can get. For me, the closes I can get is possible great grandparents. Then for those that are actual DNA matches to you, your DNA match percentage is also added. Based off all this information—-it gives you a “likely” line match. It’s pretty fascinating. It has helped narrow down to 3-4 “grandparents” —– potential parents of my bio dad. Anyway, I do appreciate your tips, and just the fact that you took the time to comment so thoughtfully. Take care!
very sad story 🥲