I have not blogged since February of this year. For those of you that have followed my writing, you know my last post was about MST. In the months that followed, my depression worsened, and I really spiraled into despair. I wouldn’t even leave my house anymore, not even to go outside and fetch our mail from the box at the end of the driveway. 

While I am not prepared to share in great detail what I did this summer, I will share with you that I spent 90 days in a voluntary residential V.A. treatment program for PTSD in Wisconsin. I asked my PTSD therapist to help me get into the program. It has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. 

Intensive one on one therapy, group therapy (actual processing groups, not just bitch fests), structured classwork (CBT, DBT, ACT, WRAP), outings with purpose (educational, recreational, exposure therapy), nursing education classes, OT (arts and crafts), gym (Pain U Fitness)….and I’m sure at the moment I am forgetting things. This was not a lock down facility. Full access to our cell phones, personal laptops, social media, etc. Strict rules, though, and they were necessary. It was voluntary. Anyone was free to leave at any time. And, a person can only get out of this what they put into it. 

All kinds of hurt and broken veterans…..combat PTSD, substance abuse, MST, anxiety, depression….and some dealing with homelessness on top of all that. We were all together in this place that gave us safety, structure, shelter, nutrition, and a different perspective. Some of us developed powerful friendships. Some of us found out what it should have been like all those years ago when we were in the military. The fact that someone always has your back. 

The staff at this place where I went…..are some of the best people I have ever run across. They do what they do because they care.  

Am I “healed”? No. Do I have new and amazing skills to deal with life? Absolutely. For the first time in my life, I feel like I really am on a healing path, and I am fully invested. All in. No longer on the fence. 

In time, I may share some details. I’ve only been home less than two weeks. I have a lot of catching up to do, here at home, and with my life in general. But I am proud to announce that I successfully completed this program, and graduated. It’s the first time I have finished something I started, in a very long time. 

I hope all of you had an amazing summer. I did.  

A dear friend sent this to me, and this stuffie went everywhere with me. What comfort to have during really tough sessions, and to sleep with.