Kid-Friendly Jokes!
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Welcome to my Kid-Friendly Jokes compilation! I only share “Rated G” jokes here, so I promise parents that everything on this blog is 100% safe for your little ones. Have fun and enjoy the giggles! Bookmark this page and check back in for new jokes! Thank you for dropping by.
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🏫 School Jokes 📚
🐯 Animal Antics 🐸
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Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow who jumped over the moon.
Q: Why do cows go to New York?
A: To see the moo-sicals!
Q: Why did the pig have ink all over his face?
A: Because he just came out of the pen.
Q: What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks!
Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
A: “Ouch!”
Q: What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A: A pouch potato.
Q: What do rabbits eat for breakfast?
A: IHOP.
Q: Where do cows go on Friday nights?
A: To the moo-vies.
Q: What is black and white and red all over?
A: A zebra with a sunburn.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk!
Q: What is a snake’s favorite subject?
A: Hiss-tory.
Q: What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
A: An udder failure.
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bull-dozer.
Q: If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay?
A: A bagel.
Q: Why couldn’t the pony talk?
A: Because she was just a little hoarse.
Q: What is a bat’s favorite sport?
A: Baseball.
Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?
A: With ten-tickles.
Q: How do you keep a bull from charging?
A: Cancel its credit card.
Q: Why didn’t the teddy bear want dessert?
A: He was already stuffed.
Q: What do you call a dinosaur who wears glasses?
A: A “Do-you-think-he-saw-us.”
Q: What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college?
A: Bison.
Q: Which animal makes the best pet?
A: A cat, because it’s purr-fect.
Q: Why couldn’t the duck pay for dinner?
A: His bill was too big.
Q: Why are penguins so awkward at parties?
A: Because they can’t break the ice.
Q: Why do fish live in salt water?
A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
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🍔 Food Fun 🍨
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Q: What does a nosy pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business.
Q: What kind of room doesn’t have doors?
A: A mushroom.
Q: How do you open a banana?
A: With a mon-key.
Q: What do you call stolen cheddar?
A: Nacho cheese!
Q: How does a cucumber become a pickle?
A: It goes through a jarring experience.
Q: Why was there peanut butter on the road?
A: To go with the traffic jam.
Q: What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?
A: “Dill me in!”
Q: Why did the cookie go to the nurse?
A: Because he felt crumby.
Q: Why did the girl throw a stick of butter out the window?
A: She wanted to see a butterfly.
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An im-pasta.
Q: What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?
A: Where’s Pop Corn?
Q: Why oranges wear sunscreen?
A: So they don’t peel.
Q: What does the Invisible Man drink at snack time?
A: Evaporated milk.
Q: What did the cake say to the fork?
A: “You want a piece of me?”
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🤣 Giggle Gallery 😉
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Q: What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
A: Thunderwear.
Q: What type of lightning likes to play sports?
A: Ball lightning.
Q: How can a frog jump higher than the Eiffel Tower?
A: The Eiffel Tower can’t jump!
Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gave her a ring.
Q: I have a head and a tail, but not a body. Who am I?
A: A coin!
Q: If you throw a stone in the ocean, what will it turn out to be?
A: Wet!
Q: What kind of shoes to frogs wear?
A: Open-toad sandals.
Q: What kind of bow can’t be tied?
A: A rainbow.
Q: What do you call a snowman that works out? A: The abdominal snowman.
Q: What goes up when the rain comes down?
A: Umbrellas.
Q: What do you give a scientist with bad breath?
A: Experi-mints.
Q: What musical instrument would you find in a bathroom?
A: A tuba toothpaste.
Q: What question can you never answer yes to?
A: Are you asleep yet?
Q: A group of bunnies were having a birthday party. What kind of music were they listening to?
A: Hip hop.
Q: I had a quiet game of tennis today.
A: There was no racket.
Q: What happens when a lightning bolt hears a joke?
A: It cracks up.
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🚪 Knock-Knock Jokes ✊
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Knock knock.
*Who’s there?
Interrupting sloth.
*Interrupting sloth who?
**[20 seconds of silence]
Sloooooooooooooth.
Knock, knock.
*Who’s there?
Banana.
*Banana who?
Knock, knock.
*Who’s there?
Banana.
*Banana who?
Knock, knock.
*Who’s there?
Orange.
*Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again?
Knock knock.
*Who’s there?
Etch.
*Etch who?
Bless you!
Knock knock
*Who’s there?
Mikey!
*Mikey who?
Mi-key doesn’t fit in the keyhole!
Knock knock.
*Who’s there?
Boo.
*Boo who?
Don’t cry, I’m only joking!
Knock knock.
*Who’s there?
Figs.
*Figs who?
Figs the doorbell. I’ve been knocking forever!
Knock knock.
*Who’s there?
To.
*To who?
No, it’s to whom!
Knock knock.
*Who’s there?
Spell.
*Spell who?
W.H.O.
Knock, knock.
*Who’s there?
Ken.
*Ken who?
Ken I come in? It’s cold out here!
Knock knock.
*Who’s there?
Cow says.
*Cow says who?
No, a cow says moo.
Knock knock.
*Who’s there?
Tank.
*Tank Who?
You’re welcome!
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🏫 School Jokes 📚
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Q: Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
A: In the piano!
Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?
A: Write on.
Q: How did the student feel when he learned about electricity?
A: Totally shocked.
Q: What do kids do during recess on rainy days?
A: Play bored games.
Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: It had a lot of problems.
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
Q: Where do pencils come from?
A: Pennsylvania.
Q: Why don’t science teachers trust atoms?
A: Because they make up everything.
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