While he has been the subject and object of my gratitude many times….today I am once again grateful for my husband and best friend, Don. As we approach 25 years of marriage…I find new reasons almost every day to love him and appreciate him even more.
Since I have fallen ill…he has been working multiple jobs to take care of me and our beloved companion animals and our home. I can’t count the number of times he’s come home from one job, only to leave for another, often putting in 12-18 hours a day.
He’s a strong guy, despite not being very tall (and it bothers him so much…his physical stature)….but he is tough, remarkably strong…..never complains, speaks little….quiet (unlike me the chatty cathy who can never shut up). He is one of those old time guys…..his word a promise, his handshake a contract. He is a combat veteran….proud of his service and would not hesitate to do it again. He is a great employee….works hard, always learning, never calls in sick, helps others.
In some ways he is a “man’s man”…..likes Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris and all those karate chop fellows, likes movies where there are lots of cool cars and explosions, likes a cold beer on a hot day, loves big dogs, going fishing, and fixing things himself——-from the dishwasher to the car to the fence—–he’d rather do it himself. He loves good rock music and country……but he will patiently let me listen to Vivaldi or Enya….so I can have equal time. Lord knows he’s “suffered” through endless viewings of the Lord of the Rings because of me.
Don also got something he did not bargain for when I got sick and have not been able to work. I am also not much to look at these days….and I know there are a lot of folks out there that are super critical of weight and appearance and things like that….would actually “kick a fatty to the curb”….but not Don. He doesn’t even speak of it…..and never makes me feel bad or criticizes me. It just does not occur to him to be hurtful about it.
When our dreams of having a family of our own…..went down in flames…..after 20 years of trying and losing two pregnancies…..it was Don who said it was time for us to stop, let it go….because what it all be worth if he lost me in the end? (the second time I ended up with an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured in the tube….and I almost died). I remember waking up in recovery with him right there….telling me it would be OK….and that we were so done chasing that dream, and he was OK with that….that only I mattered to him, and nothing else.
Yesterday, I was reminded of how deeply sensitive this strong, quiet guy is….when he came home with tears in his eyes…..after our beloved Rahula kitty died (we had to have her euthanized because of illness)……and silently went outside, buried her, came back in and just hugged me…..tears for a cat from a man who did not talk to me about Desert Storm and the things he saw there for 20 years…..from a man who can physically run circles around most 20 year olds at his job…..from this man’s man.
Don’t ever believe our relationship is perfect. It’s not. We fight. We holler. Sometimes we say not so nice things. Sometimes we get angry. But, we always forgive and pick up again…..because all we have is each other, this little house and all that is in it….and our pets that have become our family. So I am grateful for him. The one person who always stood with me and by me and for me. Even when I am not easy to love sometimes.
So grateful. I’m sorry that my words….fail to give him justice. Don is a good man. That’s all I know.
Copyright © 2009-2015 by Maria Appleby for Maria’s Musings: Tales My Heart Tells. All Rights Reserved.
Featured image generated by Jetpack Image Editor
❤️ THANK YOU FOR VISITING MY BLOG! ❤️
as it should be, too many today tire much to easily and walk away, forgetting the promise they made before god and men all tohse years ago, i’m proud you got one too maria!
Hi Christine. I am so sorry that I missed this comment. Wow, 11 years ago. Yikes. Unintentional rudeness on my part. Albeit long overdue, thank you for visiting my blog and for your kind words.
A good man indeed, give him our very best,
Nuk & Famliy
Please forgive me for missing this comment from so long ago. Thank you for dropping in and leaving such a kind message for us. I’m so glad we are friends.
You and Don are The Best. Love and Hugs. I know you are both missing Rahula.
Hi Kim, thank you. You’re so kind. Rahula was so special, and we do miss her deeply. She was such an “old soul” and an embodiment of “peaceful living, with intention.” She also is one of the best examples of “saving” or “rescue” role reversal we’ve ever experienced. We thought we were saving her. But it was her, saving us.
A beautiful, heart-felt tribute to Don. I have talked a bit to both of you over the past decade, and I know that Don is a no-nonsense guy who loves you dearly and unconditionally. And it doesn’t get any better than that. Watching you take care of each other makes my heart happy. Love you both, and honored to call both of you friends.
Hey there, Martha! It shocked the bejeebers out of me getting a comment on an 11 year old blog article! I’m appreciative and honored, because you have been poking around, and reading stuff. You have no idea how much that means to me. For the record though, sometimes things are stormy and we fight. Those fights have been known to get a bit loud and a lot spicy. I confess, there are times when I don’t like him much. In those moments, I choose to love. It becomes a verb, instead of an abstract concept. I know for a fact that there are times he doesn’t like me much, either. But, he’s still here. Decades of marriage, and years of therapy, have taught me how to “fight fair”—-that means fights these days are far less spicy because we have rules about it. What I have gained from our friendship with you—–so many things I am grateful for. You encourage us and believe in us. You have really taught me to be grateful, every single day, for something. And, to acknowledge that gratitude out loud. Accepting others as they are, while nudging them to be better versions of themselves—–I got that from you, too. The cat mama thing we both have in spades already! Thank you for being not only a friend, but a steadfast one.